birth plans.

Let me first start by saying...

I've always been one to go against the norm.

Maybe not in EVERY aspect of life, but in enough to count.

Take for example all the food documentaries. 

All someone had to do was tell me about em, show me some facts, and it was over.

I wouldn't say it was EASY being vegan for 3 months but I sure did learn a lot and feel a whole lot better.

Newest fascination: Natural/Holistic Childbirth.

Crazy right!?

Why would anyone CHOOSE to go through so much pain.

I know....I used to say the same thing.

Growing up I pretty much banked on the fact that I would deliver in a hospital, with an epidural, and it would be GLORIOUS.

well...once my curious little brain gets ahold of new information, I tend to dive in full force.

When we announced that we were pregnant I spoke with a woman at my church about her experience. She wasn't pushy or over opinionated about her choosing "awe nature-al", she simply encouraged me to watch the documentary "The business of being born." 

Whoa. My whole thought process was completely changed.

I started diving into more and more research and it felt like I actually WANTED to do this.

It is fascinating how little we know about childbirth and the whole dang experience.

Shouldn't there be a required class on this in school or something?

I mean you are making a HUMAN BEING.

Anyway...needless to say, I was hooked.

I could go on and on about what I've been learning or new research I've found but that would take forever and I'm sure you don't care right now.

So I'm mainly writing this to say two things...

1. I am thankful for those out there who are willing to do all this research and show women that they do have options. It isn't a 1 size fits all kind of process. What works for 1 woman, may not work for another. And so on and so on. Meaning, maybe delivering in a hospital and getting an epidural is right for you and you are completely satisfied with that experience. That's great! I want each and every women to feel like they made their own decision and are happy about it. It's good to have options and to know what exactly you are getting yourself into. 

2. I wish women would be better encouragers on whatever decision they choose to make. The moment I tell someone that I'm delivering in a Birth center, with a midwife, and no---there is no pain medicine,  the responses are always:

"Oh honey, you don't want to do that...trust me." 

"What!? no drugs? You're crazy."

"Why would you want to go through that much pain??"
and so on...

Looking back I don't think 1 person has said....

"Wow, that's so brave of you." 

"I admire your courage."

"Yes! You can totally do it."

The more I talked to other people, the more I doubted all the thoughts I had on making that decision.

I think my biggest fear came from what other people were saying and how little support I was given...

It felt like if I failed or decided last minute to change things around I would hear...

"We knew you couldn't do it." 

I don't know what's going to happen in my birth experience...

I may need an emergency C-section or my body may not be able to do a normal delivery, but my wish is that is that I feel supported and know that everyone is rooting for me because they know whatever I decide is what I want.


So here is what my birth plan looks like:

-Labor at home with a Doula as long as possible.
-Transfer to the birth center with my midwife once I'm far enough along.
-No IV's, Pitocin,  epidurals, heart monitors strapped around me, or other interventions.
-Labor in the tub/shower and possibly deliver there too.
-Wait until the cord stops pulsating before it's cut. (5-10min)
-Immediate skin to skin contact after birth for at least an hour.
-Attempt breastfeeding within the first hour after birth.

I trust my midwives and know that things might not go the way I plan, which really I'm not asking for much considering most of those things above they do anyway so....
I'm hopeful and excited and I have an overwhelming sense of peace about it all!

Cheers to a good birth baby!

babe.

Long time no see!

What a whirlwind of a few months it's been.

Little babe is growing, growing and my pants are getting tighter and tighter!

15 weeks and the morning sickness is finally over.

Hallelujah!

Who knew one little bean could make so much fuss. 

We are so excited and so blessed with all kinds of support from family and friends.

Here's to a fun couple of months!

Grow where you are planted.

Our conversation started a little like this...

Me: "I really want a box garden. "

Dylan: "Ok."

2 days later.

Me: "well that was a lot bigger than I expected."

This man. He sets out to do something and dives in to it 100%.
I have a lot to learn from him.

The Nelson Family Farm.
Of course it's full of peppers.
How else are we going to make hot sauce?

 I can't take any credit either.
Dylan tilled, weeded, planted, and watered everything you see.

I did put these lil cuties together.
A lil Arizona to Kansas City.

One thing I have learned through this whole gardening experience is that in each season there is room for growth. We can put whatever has happened in the past behind us and start fresh!

So here's to learning more and more new things, and growing within myself. 

Please ignore the dirty mirror...
Happy gardening!
xo

Dear Dylan.

We made it... One whole year of marriage. Looking back to two years ago, who would have thought we would be where we are today. My heart is so full. You are everything I never thought I needed. You have taught me so much about myself. You have showed me grace in every form. You continue to challenge me and love me when I don't deserve it. You are a wise old soul. You are unique and stand out from the crowd because you are your own person. You are devoted to the Lord and you love Him so well. You set an example in the way you live---full of ambition, drive, adventure, and new beginnings. You are honest and hard working. You can make me so mad with your stubborness but I love that you fight for us.

You have made me realize how important being present in life is. You spend your time wisely and pour into your hobbies of learning about new things.

I know that I am probably the only girl (besides your mother) that could put up with you sometimes, but that's how I know you are perfect for me.

I love that you are 100% your self with me.

I love hearing the word "Dude" come out of your mouth 100 times a day.

I love that who you are with me is the same person outside of our home--even though sometimes I give you trouble for it.

I love how weird you are and all the knowledge you have about the most random things.

I love how important hot sauce is to you. I would have never known what Sriracha was if it wasn't for you.

I love how much you love country music.
I love that you pour so much of yourself into learning about new things.
I love that how you can get along with almost any type of person.
I love your passion for the outdoors.
I love that you willingly provide for me in some many ways.

This list could go on and on, but I hope you see how much I care for you and everything you are about.
Thank you for fighting for this marriage and putting the Lord first in our life.
You are my best friend, my role model, my partner, and all I could have ever asked for!

Happy 1 year of marriage and 2 years of knowing ya! ;) xo

Bubs.

freedom.

I read a quote in "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young that said it all for me.

"When you are with other people, you often lose sight of My Presence.

 Your fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus. When you realize this has happened, whisper My Name; this tiny act of trust brings Me to the forefront of your consciousness, where I belong. As you bask in the blessing of My nearness, My life can flow through you to others. This is abundant life!"

As much as I hate to admit it, I care way TOO much what people think about me.

I care when I hurt someone and when I let people down.

I care when I'm not getting along with every single person in my life.

I care when there is strife and tension.

I care if I'm not living up to what others and myself think I should be.

I care about the smallest, petty thing---because I feel it a reflection of me.

My way of fixing things is to take the blame.

It just feels easier because you know, "I can handle it."

But what I'm slowly learning is that... I can't. 

I can't keep trying to cater myself to everyone else's needs, overlooking my own.

It comes out in my relationships, my family, my marriage, and my attitude.

My mind was filled with everyone else's "problems" that I didn't see my own.

My attitude changed dramatically and I began to have bitterness in my heart.

I had to have a come to Jesus moment. 

Slow me down oh Lord, slow me down.

Help my heart to hear your sound.

Speak into my life, Lord speak now.

Slow me down oh Lord, slow me down.

"Living in dependence on Me is the way to enjoy abundant life. You are learning to appreciate tough times, because they amplify your awareness of My Presence. Tasks that you used to dread are becoming rich opportunities to enjoy My closeness. When you feel tired, you remember that I am your Strength; you take pleasure in leaning on Me. I am pleased by your tendency to turn to Me more and more frequently, especially when you are alone."

I have never felt such Freedom, Peace, and Presence from the Lord through this journey. 

It is a humbling experience to fall flat on your face and say....

I'm done trying to do this myself.

And man oh man is it freeing. 

Philippians 2: 2, 13 

"Fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same love being of one accord, one mind."

"For it is God who works in you to will and to do His good pleasure."

oceans.

I highly encourage you to take a listen:

 

Oceans--Hillsong United

 

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

missing you.

We absolutely love our nieces and nephews. 

Since we live away from each other, the time together is so treasured. 

When I hear giggles coming from the room that Dylan and the girls are playing in I can't help but smile.

They ADORE him....and so do I.

When we first started dating I was nervous see how Dylan would react to all the chaos of kids running around and screaming---I have 5 nephews and 3 (soon to be 4) nieces--- but he fit right in. 

There is nothing more attractive than a man with a baby! ;)

So Tony Jr, Jonny, Andrew, Joshua, Nathan, Elliana, Eva, Elise, and Isabella...

We love you tremendously and miss you every day!