Thursday, May 2, 2013


I read a quote in "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young that said it all for me.

"When you are with other people, you often lose sight of My Presence.
 Your fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus. When you realize this has happened, whisper My Name; this tiny act of trust brings Me to the forefront of your consciousness, where I belong. As you bask in the blessing of My nearness, My life can flow through you to others. This is abundant life!"

As much as I hate to admit it, I care way TOO much what people think about me.
I care when I hurt someone and when I let people down.
I care when I'm not getting along with every single person in my life.
I care when there is strife and tension.
I care if I'm not living up to what others and myself think I should be.
I care about the smallest, petty thing---because I feel it a reflection of me.

My way of fixing things is to take the blame.
It just feels easier because you know, "I can handle it."
But what I'm slowly learning is that... I can't. 
I can't keep trying to cater myself to everyone else's needs, overlooking my own.
It comes out in my relationships, my family, my marriage, and my attitude.
My mind was filled with everyone else's "problems" that I didn't see my own.
My attitude changed dramatically and I began to have bitterness in my heart.
I had to have a come to Jesus moment. 

Slow me down oh Lord, slow me down.
Help my heart to hear your sound.
Speak into my life, Lord speak now.
Slow me down oh Lord, slow me down.

"Living in dependence on Me is the way to enjoy abundant life. You are learning to appreciate tough times, because they amplify your awareness of My Presence. Tasks that you used to dread are becoming rich opportunities to enjoy My closeness. When you feel tired, you remember that I am your Strength; you take pleasure in leaning on Me. I am pleased by your tendency to turn to Me more and more frequently, especially when you are alone."

I have never felt such Freedom, Peace, and Presence from the Lord through this journey. 
It is a humbling experience to fall flat on your face and say....
I'm done trying to do this myself.
And man oh man is it freeing. 

Philippians 2: 2, 13 
"Fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same love being of one accord, one mind."
"For it is God who works in you to will and to do His good pleasure."

1 comment:

  1. this.
    is awesome.
    LOVE it.
    so proud of you...and so proud to have you as my friend.
    i love you sooo MUCH. :)